Sleep has eluded me again as I lie on my bed and wait for it to come back. I wait and I wait until I feel restless. Maybe I should read a bit. So I pick up my iPad and flick to the last chapter of one of our forthcoming books. This one is about Leslie Cheung, the Cantopop superstar who leapt to immortality ten years ago.
That chapter, I know, is about Leslie’s final hours. I know what is going to happen. I know it will hurt but I cannot stop myself from reading it. Leslie was clinically depressed at that time; he had been depressed for some time already. He had made an attempt to kill himself earlier. Everyday was a struggle for him. Correction. Every hour was a struggle for him. People around him felt he would make another attempt and they tried their best to pull him out of the abyss. But in the end he did it, leaving behind a heartbroken partner, a family, many good friends and thousands of fans that loved him more than he would ever know. It brought tears to my eyes. What talent! What following! He could have used it to make thousands happy. His decision, I am sure, didn’t make him happy. He didn’t kill himself because he was thinking only about himself. He did it because he felt there was no way out…because he felt it was easier to give up rather than fight it day after day. Creativity, people think, is related to pain, that the most tortured souls produce the best works. But it doesn’t need to be that way. If you are feeling depressed, reach out to others. I know sometimes we feel nobody can understand us, but it is okay to ask for help if we feel we cannot fight it ourselves. Similarly, if you feel somebody needs help, reach out to them. We are born to help, to share with and to love others. We are one big family. Let us support each other. The worst of problems can be overcome with a little collective compassion.
How can I afford to sleep when there is so much left to do?
This one is to Leslie and to all of us who need strength in the darkest hour. Take my hand. AD loves you.
Pic courtesy lesliepillow.com > Alice.